A recent conversation with a good friend reminded me of two of the most painfully learned lessons of my life.  I thought I would briefly share them with you.

There was a minister I dearly loved (and still do) who proved unfaithful in his ministry.  Paul says in I Cor. 4:2 that "it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful."  None of us do it perfectly.  This one friend proved spectacularly unfaithful, that is, the unfaithfulness was of a serious and on-going nature, and it was revealed suddenly.

For three to four months it was like I had a second job taking phone calls from around the world counselling with friends--especially young ministers--who were deeply shaken.  It was a terrible time, and one in which God's gospel stood as clear and bright as ever, and the hope of heaven became even sweeter. 

As I reflected on the time, two lessons especially stood out to me.  The first is for all Christians, the second especially for pastors. 

The first lesson was provoked when one dear brother reproached himself for not reaching out more to this mutual friend, not asking more questions about how our mutual friend was doing.  I told him that I had met with this friend weekly and often asked him many questions.  I didn't think he (my self-reproachful friend) was so much in the wrong as our mutual friend was wrong for not being honest.  Lesson number one:  no accountability relationships will work if there is not a commitment to honesty on the part of the person in question.  The problem wasn't a lack of initiative toward him; the problem was his hiding the truth from us.  If I am committed to my sin above a humble, self-revealing honesty, then I can't rely on any accountability structure or loving friendships to expose my sin and protect my soul.  I must remember that if I am to war against sin, I must labor to be embarassingly transparent.

The second lesson was more particularly for those engaged in public ministry.  Many Christians will make pious statements about God refusing to bless a ministry because of sin in the minister's life, or holiness being the es